It's taken me awhile to decide where to start, and still, I'm a bit unsure. I guess I'll just jump in.

I'm doing laundry right now.

Yesterday I was in Yellowstone waiting for Old Faithful to erupt, people kept arriving and asking others when the next eruption was scheduled.

For 85 minutes people were getting upset when they learned that it only

erupted every 94 minutes, and even that is not exact.

I heard one lady say, "I thought it had to go off like every 7 minutes."






















I spent a few moments today trying to picture what it would look like if you were waiving

your arms as if to someone off in the distance, only I was standing 3 inches in front of you. Would that be funny?





















(chuckle)




Vegas was stupid. Vegas is stupid. I stayed on the 18th floor of a glass pyramid and looked out my window to see airplanes

taking off with flood water in the background. Business cards advertising the

services of personal strippers littered the street like confetti residue from the lonely heart's convention.

I watched the water in front of the Bellagio and my friend said she liked the way he danced

to Frank Sinatra. She was talking about the water.


Across the strip, men dressed in black pants and red and white shirts and scarves and hats were

busy completing the illusion of the wettest city in the world in the driest city in the world,

this while the former is slowly sinking into the ocean and oblivion.

Ahh, the simulation of a vacation.












Look.



I remember today like it was blinking my eyes.


I remember it like a photo montage. I remember it like a movie.

I remember it like a series of characters who are forced to live

in a house. I remember today like these characters who have to live in a house together with each other.

Look, this is how I remember today, I remember today like every 3rd card off the deck.





I remember it like that. I remember today like, like a movie trailer, like I'm trying to make it seem better than it was. I remember today like it was an Ezra Pound poem, like one of his poems,


one of the ones I don't get, one of Ezra Pound's poems I think about for a long time and don't get. I remember today, I do, and it's like I can't decide which shirt to leave the house in in

the morning, or early afternoon, or evening. I remember today like it wasn't that long at all. I remember today like I would remember the 25th and 26th day of living in the house with strangers, and talking to those same strangers for 75 days. Yes, I do remember today, and it's like I was climbing a mountain and then started getting tired but still had to climb the mountain and

my brother was talking to me about girls and the girls he was talking about were from high
school and now I'm 35 or 50 and my brother and I have never talked about girls and it's been years since I was in high school and there is a moose and the peak of the mountain is just about 2 miles away and I'm sweating and my brothers talking and we've run out of water because we're what the park service

would classify as amateur walkers or hikers, or weekenders, or rubber-neckers, and maybe we are but we are climbing or walking up this mountain and talking about girls and then talking about when time is like this the sun just seems like a really bright cloud that won't leave you alone cause it keeps running circles around you and it takes 2 months to go the last 2 miles because we just got lost somewhere on the way and bought ice cream and the café on the mountain that we started climbing last week.

Please forgive the tardiness of this response,

there is a reason for it.

A strange thing has been happening.

Every time I have tried to say something to you it has come

back to me, and every time it has come back I have changed it a bit more.

I swear that I have it right. I hope that the coming back will stop here.

For the moment I will delay any response other than this one until I know that it will get


to you. I hope you understand, it is very frustrating for me to not be able to reach you.









I woke up this morning, face down, with my head slightly raised off the mattress. At the time I had no awareness of this positioning of my body

I was somewhere else, reliving a moment in the past, or more like watching it pass before my eyes with a body suit simulating my emotions.

It was there in front of me as real as my wrinkled sheets laying an inch from the tip

of my nose. I tried to kiss it, for reasons unknown, but ended up with a mouthful of bedding instead.

It was then I realized the positioning of my body.

Hope all is well in Vegas.





























Yeah, yesterday I was watching a movie, and in it there was a weatherman. This is

what he said, "As I predicted there is a real sun in the sky, there is a real blue sky, and there is

wind blowing from the northwesterly direction."



I thought that sounded pretty funny.



Vegas seems to be a place where an incoming traveler could predict the future with greater ease.





Did you ever have the feeling that you were floating while walking with your head up?

Huh?

The reason I ask is because sometimes after long periods of walking looking

down at the ground with my feet and legs in sight, I look up and feel as if I am nothing but a head hovering down

the sidewalk past houses. And it is only when I see my feet again that I feel grounded, and bodied.













I know there was snow today.





I sat in my living room and watched it fall, I know there was snow.



I'm waiting for something.



I don't know what. I sat in my living room waiting today. Nothing happened. Well there was snow falling, I know that much. I don't know what's happening anymore,



Each day I wake up a little more surprised to find myself where I am. Today I woke up not knowing where I was at all.



After sitting in my living room all day, I learned that I was in my living room all day.













Each day I wake up a little more surprised to find myself where I am. Today I woke up not knowing where I was at all. After sitting in my living room all day, I learned that I was in my living room all day.









Tomorrow when I wake up I'm going to try to remember my dreams, and if I can't then I'm going to go to the library to find a book to help me remember them. I need them. I know they're there, somewhere.